The Friend of the Court, explained by a dad who lived it
The first time I heard "Friend of the Court," I thought it sounded harmless. Friendly, even. Then I got my first notice in the mail and realized nobody around me could explain what this office actually was, what the hearing would be like, or what I was supposed to bring. Everything I found online was either a law firm asking for a consultation fee or a court website written in a language I don't speak.
This page is what I wish had existed back then: a plain-English walkthrough from a Michigan single dad who has sat in those waiting rooms. It's my experience — not legal advice — and your county, your judge, and your facts will differ. But if the FOC just entered your life, start here and breathe.
What the FOC actually does
In Michigan, every county's circuit court has a Friend of the Court office. Three things defined my contact with it:
- Investigation and recommendations. The FOC gathers information and recommends to the judge how custody, parenting time, and child support should be set.
- Referee hearings. A referee (not the judge) often hears disputes first and issues a recommended order. You can object and be heard by the judge if you disagree — there are deadlines, so read every paper they send you.
- Enforcement. Once orders exist, the FOC enforces them — support collection through income withholding, parenting time complaints, and more.
What I learned the hard way
- Everything in writing. Dates, exchanges, payments, conversations. My notes saved me more than once.
- Deadlines are real. The objection window after a referee recommendation is short. Missing it can mean living with an order you disagree with.
- An attorney you don't use properly is just an expense. I made a whole video about choosing an attorney and actually using them — watch it below.
- Stay calm in the building. How you carry yourself gets noticed. The hallway is not the place to win an argument.
Frequently asked questions
What is the Friend of the Court in Michigan?
The Friend of the Court (FOC) is an office of the family division of the circuit court in each Michigan county. It investigates and makes recommendations to the judge about custody, parenting time, and child support, and it enforces the orders the court enters. If you have a custody or support case in Michigan, the FOC will almost certainly be part of your life.
What happens at a Friend of the Court hearing?
Many FOC matters are heard first by a referee — a court official who listens to both sides and issues a recommended order. In my experience it felt less formal than a courtroom with a judge, but you should still treat it seriously: be on time, dress respectfully, bring your documents, and answer questions directly. If either parent disagrees with the referee’s recommendation, Michigan law allows an objection and a new hearing in front of the judge, usually within a short deadline — ask the FOC office or your attorney about the exact timeline in your county.
How long does the Friend of the Court process take?
It varies a lot by county, caseload, and how contested things are. In my case some steps moved in weeks and others dragged for months. Build patience into your expectations, keep your own records of every date and document, and follow up in writing.
Do I need a lawyer to deal with the Friend of the Court?
No — parents represent themselves in FOC matters every day, and I’ve done both: hired an attorney and represented myself. A good attorney is worth a lot in a contested case, but only if you use them properly. Whatever you decide, resources like Michigan Legal Help and county self-help centers exist for self-represented parents. What’s right for your case is a decision only you (ideally with a licensed attorney’s input) can make.
Can the Friend of the Court take my tax refund?
If you owe past-due child support, enforcement tools in Michigan can include intercepting tax refunds, income withholding, and more. I talk about how support and taxes collided in my own life in my Tax Season video. For how the rules apply to your situation, check with the FOC office handling your case or a tax professional.
My FOC videos
Friend of the Court
Choosing Your Attorney and Using Your Attorney Properly When Dealing With the Friend of the Court
How I picked my family law attorney, what I wish I had asked first, and how I learned to actually use my attorney instead of just paying one — all while dealing with the Friend of the Court in Michigan.
Watch & read →
Friend of the Court
Mediation
My experience going through mediation in a Michigan custody case — what the session was like, how I prepared, and why it can be better than fighting everything out in front of a judge.
Watch & read →